Discovering I am Enough

An excerpt from my keynote at the I Am Enough Retreat, “Be Here Now.”

Let’s Be Here Now, beginning with NOW. Oops, there it goes. Okay, THIS Now. Now, this Now…and this, and this, and this. Now shifts into another and another and another. Now is infinitely fleeting, morphing into the next and the next and the next, forming a long chain of Nows so subtly, so sublimely, it can be difficult to know one Now from the next. It is easy to confuse past and future Nows, with the one we are in.

To be fully present in the Now is to get clear about noticing when our mind is in the past or the future vs the Now. Can we take action in the past? No, we have memories there but we can’t take action. Can we take action in the future? No, we can make plans but we can’t take action. We can only take action in the now. Now is where we find our power.

When we get present in the Now, we can discover what is HERE. As you read this, take a moment to settle into your body. Put your feet flat on the floor, release your body into your chair. To be Here is to feel your body. Scan it from toes to head. Check in with each part as you relax it. Release into your chair. Feel the support of the chair and trust that you are fully supported Here, Now. Notice what you are experiencing. Name it: cold, hot, sad, guarded, a fleeting feeling in your left calf. Just notice, name, and release.

Just Be, Here, Now.

This is especially important for those of us who have experienced trauma. Where is our trauma? In the past. Can we take action in the past? No. Does healing occur in the past? No. Healing occurs now.

“Be Here Now:” that’s where healing happens. Our memories can be scary, but they can’t hurt us in the now.

Recognizing the difference is crucial to healing. Recognizing that the past is not the present, that it is just a memory, keeps us from reactivating the trauma as if it were happening now.

“Be Here Now”

NOW is about your thoughts, your mind. Making sure it knows the difference between past, present and future.

HERE is about being in your physical body, listen to its messages, its wisdom.

What is BEING?

Being is our connection to soul. Our ability to BE is one of our divine rights that is stolen from us when we experience trauma. We shut down. We pull in. We decide something is wrong with us, that it is not safe to present our soft, defenseless true self to the world.

Being is the hardest for me, mainly because I can’t pinpoint when I sacrificed being for doing. I was born into a household where there was neglect and abuse from day one. I don’t remember Being. Did you know, we form our personalities by the time we’re five years old! It’s our operating system for how we interface with the world. we choose behaviors and beliefs that help us survive when we’re five and then we take that into adulthood. Unless we get conscious about it and examine it, question it and choose different beliefs and behavior, we are run by that personality that was designed to when we were five. I know that’s been my story.

I remember when I was 8 or 9 years old, when things were so volatile and dangerous in my house that my little brain concluded I might have to leave through the window in the night. So I packed up my little travel suitcase every night–with my favorite toys!—and kept it beside my bed “just in case.” I didn’t want my little brother to worry, so I packed up some of his toys each night, too.

What skills do you see there? Some planning, contingency thinking, caretaking. Great skills for the work I do. My employers, clients, and I have benefited from those skills. But for me, because those strengths are rooted in scarcity and desperation, I have to work extra hard to Be Here Now and not default to Doing. For me, to Be Here Now, means I do a lot of biting my tongue and sitting on my hands. Being is not Doing, so I try to do less.

Another thing about Being: Being has to do with boundaries. It’s knowing where I end and you begin, what’s mine and what isn’t.

Once we have established boundaries, we get to decide what we will and won’t allow through the boundaries. Allowing is healing. Allowing is feminine energy. Allowing is intuition. The Universal Law of Allowing is part of the cycle of the Law of Attraction.  We must allow our desires to be fulfilled. By allowing, we remove restrictions, drop our guard, release resistance, so that we can receive.

Being is not doing. Being is establishing boundaries. Being is allowing.

Here’s the beauty of Be Here Now: when we bring it all together, body, mind and soul, to Be Here Now, we discover, in this moment, I am Enough. I’m here. I’m alive. I can take action. There is hope.

Be Here Now and discover I am Enough.

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